I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
