Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
