you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
