Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
