Is it normal to miss your booty call?
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
