Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
