marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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