oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
