i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
