so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Randomize
