Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
