theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
