my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize