Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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