this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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