just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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