i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
