It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Dignity is for republicans.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I need a beard to bite.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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