my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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