He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
