my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
