it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
