I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
