This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
