i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
you will always have a special place in my vag
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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