Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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