There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize