Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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