sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
