id be glad to
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
