pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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