All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
if i died would you start the facebook group?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
