You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
