Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize