last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
My penis needs a shock collar
I have fence marks all over my body
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
