Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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