I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
