roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Randomize