If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
