It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
