so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
