Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize