like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
