If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
