That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
