So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
there's paper in my vomit.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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