i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
