i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
It's no shave November. This is our time.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
