i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize