Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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