i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
