It's Friday. Sex?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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