I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
PANTIES FOUND
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