one might say we're banned from that church
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
