mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
