I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
