I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
