Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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