do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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