home. puking in laundry basket.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize