I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Randomize
