Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
