I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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