i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
